The Joke Thread..........

[camnic1972]

But I bet you still had a giggle tho
xx
lol

[mr.pure]

Just before I barfed.

[camnic1972]

Im sorry - please forgive me

[mr.pure]

It's quite refreshing that a girlies sense of humour is that dirty and chauvinistic.
We gotta draw the line at images of old ladies poonani's though.
Could put me off me trainers let alone me dinner.

[camnic1972]

Yeah - i must admit old ladies jacksies probably aren't nice to look at!!!!

[camnic1972]

My sense of humour is ing!!!! I even embarress my other half some times

[cracky]

Grandma says the her young grandson,
"Be a love and help me put this suppositery in"
Course I will Granny!"
She bends over and pulls her knickers down and spreads her legs.
Her grandson says,
"Do I put it in the brown hole Granny or do I feed it to the turkey?"

eewww what an 'orrible thought! keep up the gags, lovin em

[mr.pure]

You 'ad to repeat it didn't ya ?
Sicko !

[cracky]

yeh, sick, very wrong but highly amusing.....p.s sorry mr p

[Da Camden Ayatollah]

There was no need for that. Theres enough old women out there as it is without having to talk about saggy snatches.

Why are women like pub toilets?they're either engaged, vacant or full of shit.

[camnic1972]

Woman says to her husband,
"Darling, I would like a boob job"
Husband says,
"Darling, you don't need one"
Wife says,
"But darling I really want one"
Husband says,
"Why don't you try wiping between them with a piece of toilet paper"
Wife says,
"Don't be stupid. How will that work?"
Husband says,
"Well, it worked on your arse!"

[camnic1972]

A woman went into hospital to have a fanny tuck. After the operation she recieved three cards while she was recovering. One was a get well card from her husband, the other was a get well cars from her surgeon and the third was a thank you card from Eric in the burns unit thanking her for the new ears!!

[camnic1972]

Things you can get away with saying only at christmas

1 - I prefer breasts to legs

2 - tying the legs together keeps the inside moist

3 - smother the butter all over the breasts

4 - If I don't undo my trousers I will burst

5 - I've never seen a better spread

6 - I'm in the mood for a little dark meat

7 - Are you ready for seconds yet

8 - It's a little dry, are you sure you want to eat it

9 - Just wait your turn, you will get some

10 - Don't play with your meat

11 - Stuff it between the legs as far as it will go

12 - Do you think you will be able to handle all those people at once

13 - I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time

14 - You still have a little bit on your chin

15 - How long will it take after you put it in

16 - You know when it's ready because it pops up

17 - Just pull the end and wait for the bang

18 - Thats the biggest bird I've ever seen

19 - I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

[/size]

[Sooper]

You are very rude! Fortunately i dont understand most of it being an innocent fella!

[camnic1972]

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that depsite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Cilla Black who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla says,
"Sean, If I'm not being too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my ouse, we could have a lorra lorra fun"
So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks the went off to bed and had an hour of passionate sex. Afterwards Sean Says,
"If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and then we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my ballsh in your left hand and ma willy in your right hand."
Cilla looks a bit perplexed but replies,
"Okay"
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and then they have better sex than before. The Sean says,
"Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You will have to ..................."
"I know sean, yer want me to old yer bat and balls again. No problem hon."
Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absoloutley mind blowing. Once its all over they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks,
"Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one and, and yer willy in de other, does it really stimulate you that much?"
Sean replies,
"No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet!"