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The Joke Thread..........

Laughing

"SSDB does not condone or promote wack behaviour"
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Knock knock. Well, I say knock knock, it's more like two tiny taps.
Who's there?
Oh, it's you Audley...

I woke up in the middle of the night to find I was being burgled by Audley Harrison. He tried to escape but I put a wet paper-bag over him and was able to detain him until the police arrived...

Oh, what does Audley and a school kid have in common? They both need picking up 'round 3...

Supe like Wanton, Buju like Banton
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The Australian cricket team. That is all.

Supe like Wanton, Buju like Banton
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Not really a joke but it gave me a giggle yesterday. I went with my granny to buy a new TV. When she saw the one see wanted she went to pay for it and the guy asked "do you want the extended 10 warranty with that" my wee granny looked up at him and with the brutal honesty that only pensioners can possess she said "son I’ll no be here in 10 years why would I need that". I've never seen an assistant so uncomfortable in all my life.
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That's funny a bit harsh but true.
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what do you tell a woman who has two black eyes?

nothing. shes been told twice.
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BBC News: UK to ban Koran protest pastor.

He should have known this would happen, you can't offend a Muslim state and then expect to be welcomed.

"Live fast, die young"
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And the joke is...??

It was fuckin' obvious that that cunt was gonnae fuck some cunt.
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Sickipedia guys? Wink

'I paid for the suede!'
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Gone right downhill in here. Nik, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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lighten up mate. they are jokes.
no room for sensitivity in here!!
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No more jokes about the Japanese tsunami disaster!!!
A real close friend of mine has died out there....
R.I.P. So Kin Wet

It's not the size of the feet!!it's the amount of quality on em
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With eyes like that it's no wonder they couldn't see it coming..

"Live fast, die young"
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Watching the disaster on tv with the water sweeping inland i thought come on all you whales and dolphins you will never get a better chance than this.
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Crikey that opened up the flood gates (no pun intended)

It's not the size of the feet!!it's the amount of quality on em
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