[Suburban Knight]

A young blonde woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself from a dockside Bridge. She went down to the bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Australia in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Australia would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away" she explained "I get food and free passage to Australia, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Mersey Ferry. "