[Suburban Knight]

A bloke sees an advert in a pet shop window, TALKING CENTIPEDE FOR SALE, ONLY £1000. He thinks I’ll have some of that and buys the little fella and takes him home in its box. When he arrives home he opens up the box and asks if the centipede would like to go for a pint, but there’s no answer. So he asks again, still no answer. Getting really angry because he's beginning to think he’s been conned he shouts at the top of his voice, ‘DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A PINT?????’, at which the centipede sticks his head over the side of the box and say’s, ‘I heard you the first time, I was putting my fuckin’ shoes on!’