05-06-07, 10:46 AM
The following are extracts from complaint letters recieved by the council from tenants:
1 - I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was the wind the other night that blew them off.
2 - My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand.
3 - I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
4 - Will you please send someone round to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she's pregnant.
5 - I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
6 - 50 per cent of the walls are damp, 50 per cent have crumbling plaster and 50 per cent are plain filthy
7 - I am still having problems with the smoke in my drawers
8 - The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
9 - Will you please send a man to look at my water, its still a funny colour and not fit to drink.
10 - Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
11 - Its the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
12 - Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so can you please send a man round
13 - I am a single woman living downstairs. Would you do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
14 - I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
15 - This is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we cant get BBC2.
16 - The man next door has an unsightly erection in his front garden.
17 - He has got this huge tool that makes the whole house vibrate and I can't take it any more.
18 - I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
19 - I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20 - And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against the fence.
21 - I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and I can't take any more of it.
22 - Please send the man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
23 - My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
2 - My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand.
3 - I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
4 - Will you please send someone round to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she's pregnant.
5 - I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
6 - 50 per cent of the walls are damp, 50 per cent have crumbling plaster and 50 per cent are plain filthy
7 - I am still having problems with the smoke in my drawers
8 - The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
9 - Will you please send a man to look at my water, its still a funny colour and not fit to drink.
10 - Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
11 - Its the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
12 - Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so can you please send a man round
13 - I am a single woman living downstairs. Would you do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
14 - I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
15 - This is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we cant get BBC2.
16 - The man next door has an unsightly erection in his front garden.
17 - He has got this huge tool that makes the whole house vibrate and I can't take it any more.
18 - I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
19 - I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20 - And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against the fence.
21 - I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and I can't take any more of it.
22 - Please send the man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
23 - My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"