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Simple solution: Smoke some weed, it's got this chemical in it called "fuck it" you should try it!

Seriously though, I'm struggling to see any real problems that would be noticeable once the shoes are on you feet. You've already concluded that you can't return them so you're kinda stuck with them. Try removing the laces and ironing the eyestay then relacing?
Supe like Wanton, Buju like Banton
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Peachsport are completely legit in my experience, have bought from them a few times.
He does sell b-grades occasionally, but lists them as such and they come in a white or plain box.
Yours look fine to me fella, I think it's just the case that that model of LTOs aren't built very well.
I don't wear Crocs, and I don't wear sandals/The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles . . .
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^^ What he said! Bought a few pairs from him and he always list them as b-grades if they are. Sometimes you get a crappy pair or a poorly made model in general, thats just the way it is unfortunately. No way they are fake.